Crystal Andrus Morissette: The Emotional Edge

So we cling to what we know, afraid to venture outside the box. As my dad used to say, “It’s better to stay with the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” I’m here to tell you, he was wrong. Your fear may try to convince you to stay where you are, suggesting that if you try to make changes, an avalanche of dark feelings will be released and nothing but bad days will await you. But that’s not true. Here is the most important message I want you to know: Only you can choose to give your power away. Nothing or no one can take your power from you. Your strength lies in your courage to tell the truth. If you choose to downshift from an empowered emotional place into fear, you chose to give your power away.

Most often, it is an unconscious choice driven by your limiting belief that feeling your feelings and speaking your truth is unsafe, but it is still your choice. When we operate in fear, we feel afraid to live fully and to show up in the world as the greatest expression of who we are. I explained fear this way to my kids: Your fear is actually similar to a tiny mouse hiding in the basement. It scurries around in the dark, making little noises. Finally, you come down the stairs with your flashlight (your internal, blaring, bright light) and shine the light around. All you see is a monstrous dark shape in the corner, when, in fact, it is only the shadow of a tiny mouse, with your light amplifying its size and appearance. You, terrorized by the size of the shadow, scream and run in the opposite direction, back up the stairs. You lock the basement door and get more security—maybe some big scary pit bulls and weapons. But your fear doesn’t want to be alone and rejected. It is a part of you! It belongs inside of you as much as your love and happiness do! “Why do you keep shunning me?” it wonders. “I can’t hurt you! You are the one hurting you! I’m here for a reason. Stop running from me!” Eventually, your fear finds a way to get your attention again, and you get pulled back into more anxious thoughts and more surging adrenaline. And the pattern repeats itself. Patterns are nothing more than fearful thoughts and beliefs passed down, generation after generation. So the next time fear taps you on the shoulder, turn and look directly at it. Stand at the edge of the shadow.