Need to Gain Trust? Do It Smartly!

Are There Smart Ways to Gain Trust?

Trust is the key to any healthy relationship. Whether it is a personal or business interaction, trust allows for open communication and mutual respect. It sets the participants up for a win-win and a higher likelihood that pleasant, peaceful, and productive dialogue can take place.

Enjoyment also increases when there is trust. Yet, each of us encounter people who, either immediately or over time, erode trust by their actions, inability to follow-through, or by downright lying. The result is avoidance, suspicion, and distrust of anything the person may say going forward, even if it is the truth.

Credibility is at stake, along with the quality of our relationships. When people trust us, we have credibility. People believe in us and we are willing to consider what the trustworthy person says. We come across as responsible, caring, and stable. When they do not trust, there is little we can do to regain it once it is broken. Lying, cheating, acting for one’s own benefit, and not considering others, all lead to unhealthy and distrustful relationships.

Given that we demonstrate trustworthy behavior at the outset, trust is then built and maintained over the course of the relationship. Even if we gain trust right away, ongoing honorable behaviors and interactions are essential to continue having trust in one another.

So, what inspires trust? Consider the three Cs….

Congruency, where what the person or entity (like a company) says and does must be in alignment.

Facial expressions are appropriate for the words, such as apologizing and having a facial expression of regret rather than apologizing with a tone and expression of anger and resentment.

We could say something like “It doesn’t matter.” And depending on the tone, then the perception is going to change. If you hang your head and say, “It doesn’t matter” in a low tone, it indicates disappointment. If you say it with a playful hand gesture like shooing, it indicates that it is not a big deal. With arms crossed in a sharp tone, it gives an angry implication. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we are aware of these subtle indicators and must look beyond what is said.

Look at how the words are being delivered (accentuating particular words, changes in tone, volume, etc.), as well as the non-verbal signs accompanying those words (body language, facial expressions, etc.). We pay attention to these cues in others and need awareness of our own way of expressing ourselves to gain trust.

Consistency, where the person or entity acts with integrity over a length of time.

They say what they mean and do what they promise. This includes being honest no matter the fear of the outcome, having an ethical approach to doing business or behaving in a friendship, and a sense of fairness in all interactions, where we discuss all viewpoints under consideration. If we find ourselves struggling with this concept, then it is worthwhile to do a self-assessment of what we fear that may drive us to find it easier to lie, manipulate, or control the other person.

Compassion, where the person or entity cares.

We gain trust by demonstrating caring for others and the world; working toward a common good, where we take actions that demonstrate a lifting-up of those who need it.

Jealousy, The Slow Poison

We treat others with respect regardless of their work, their level of understanding, or their path in life. We are less likely to trust those who seem uncaring, since if they do not show compassion in one aspect of life, it is unlikely that they may show it in another area when it comes to relationships.

To Gain Trust, We Act for the Highest Good

We trust a person because we feel that they have our best interest at heart and is trying to help. They provide valuable information and life lessons to enhance understanding rather than demeaning someone or showing superiority. The trustworthy person tends to act for the highest good.

Using the three C’s of Trust – Congruency, Consistency, and Compassion – will boost our trustworthy factor exponentially. Even if we haven’t been completely open and honest up to this point, it is never too late to start on the path of honor, integrity, and truth.