Dr. John Gray: Beyond Mars and Venus
Dr. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century. In hardcover, it was the #1 best selling book of the 1990s. Dr. John Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. John Gray’smost recent book called Beyond Mars and Venus.
An Interview with Dr. John Gray – Beyond Mars and Venus
To listen to the full interview of Dr. John Gray on Miracle Guidance for Everyday Life with Dr. Carmen Harra on OMTimes Radio, click the player below.
Carmen Harra: I’m so honored to have an extraordinary guest who will help you navigate your relationships. Dr. John Gray, and we’re all familiar with his book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. In fact, it became the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time. The USA Today listed this book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter-century.
But Dr. John Gray did not stop here. He has written over 20 books translated into 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continue to be best-sellers. His Mars-Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.
His approach combines communication techniques with healthy nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance.
You may access his many books, blogs, and free online workshops at www.marsandvenus.com.
Dr. John Gray provides practical insights into improving relationships at all stages in life and love. He’s an advocate of health and optimal brain function. He also offers nutritional solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety, stress, supporting increased energy, libido, hormonal balance, and better sleep. I can talk about how Dr. John Gray appeared on Oprah and Dr. Oz, on Today’s show, CBS, Good Morning America. Also, how he was profiled on Time and USA Today, People Magazine, and Barbara Walters.
I admire Dr. John Gray not only for his extensive work on relationships and his profound understanding of human nature. I admire him for his unique and unconditional love for his wife and soulmate, Bonnie, so I said to myself, without his permission, I decided to dedicate this interview to his beautiful wife, Bonnie Gray.
Dr. John Gray: I appreciate you dedicating this interview to my wife, Bonnie. Carmen, if you know, Bonnie passed two years ago of cancer. You honor me. You are a special person. I feel love and spiritual energy flowing through you.
CARMEN HARRA: My first question is, what inspired you to write your latest book, Beyond Mars and Venus?
DR. JOHN GRAY: I will try to keep my answers as short as possible, which is challenging. So, why did I write this new book, Beyond Mars and Venus? It’s like re-writing Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus 25 years later because Today, many women feel like they’re from Mars, male energy.
As spiritual beings, which happens the more spiritual we become in our lives, the more access we have to connect with our souls. The soul is both masculine and feminine. In this life, it chooses to be male or female, and sometimes if you’ve been a male for a long time, you say, now I’m going over to the female side. Still, your male side is more manageable, it’s more comfortable, and vice versa for men.
As a little boy, I must have had many lives as a female because I really understand women so well. As a little boy, I watched my dad shave, and I’d go, oh, my God, how will I ever do that. I don’t know if I can do that, and then when I realized you had to work for money to have a life, I thought, how can I do that? I didn’t yet have the training in how to be a man, but it takes practice, and if you don’t have that, it makes it easier for men to go to their female energy.
Actually, we know Today that women, when they’re stressed, make more male hormones. They’re not making the female hormones necessary for the body to come back into equilibrium and happiness. When men are angry or sad, or passive, irritable, grumpy, or lose their libido, their male hormone, Testosterone, is deficient. Their female hormone, Estrogen, is very high. Simply put, we are now a society that’s pretty much-experiencing role reversal.
Men have lower male energy, women have higher male energy. Men have more female energy, which means female energy is feeling dependent on others to be happy. If you think about women throughout history, they depend on a man to protect them and provide them to do the things in the home. Women don’t rely on men and don’t know what they can depend on men for. Often women say, “Getting married, why? It’s like having another child. I’ve got two”.
And men become like a child. They become passive, and you have to take care of them. That’s OK if you’re cooking for your husband or cleaning up after him if you felt he was doing something difficult or dangerous so that you would have food on the table and safety. But when your husband is just watching video games, it’s not that thrilling. America is based upon the idea we want freedom and equality. So the male part of us wants freedom, the female part of us wants intimacy, and women can smoothly go to their male side. It feels so good because they’re free from the bounds of just being in the home and doing nurturing and intimate things like that. They have a balance. If I don’t have to work for men, I can do more enjoyable jobs, then I go to my female side. There are so many things like drugs, I can depend on them. Dependency becomes an addiction, and for men, you have so much more addiction in men than women.
Actually, women do have an addiction where they’re addicted to their male side.
You can’t relax. You’re on the go all the time. Must do, must do. That’s a woman’s brain Today. She tends to be addicted to feeling overwhelmed to doing, and that’s her male energy. Men get addicted to their female energy sitting in front of a TV set, watching a game, and drinking a beer. Biologically, what’s happening for men is their Estrogen levels are rising as they get older, and their Testosterone levels are going down. It doesn’t have to be that way. Nature is such that our Estrogen, as men, our female energy will increase as we get older, but it shouldn’t have to mean that our male energy goes down. That’s the thing.
Like most men, I have a high Estrogen level, almost 70 years old, but my Testosterone is like a young 25-year-old. So, I have both those hormones, which are not common today, but it was expected a long time ago. We have changed, and in the last 30 years, we’ve changed a lot. As women have become more independent, it’s hard for them not to be overwhelmed and turn off the brain. It’s hard for men to feel the kind of motivation and selflessness men used to feel when they’d go off to battle.
CARMEN HARRA: You’re saying that all of these changes have a lot to do with how we express ourselves. Have a lot to do with the hormonal changes. It is challenging to balance everything in the brain with neurotransmitters and hormones. You put it in a way that people can rethink what’s happening to them in a way they never did before.
DR. JOHN GRAY: These are new ways of thinking. You know why they do. It’s because we’re facing a new challenge that’s never happened before on a large scale and this massive opportunity with every new challenge. Still, there’s also an enormous risk if you don’t adapt, and I’m trying to help people adapt to these changes, so they thrive.
CARMEN HARRA: So they thrive, and how do you feel that this psychological and emotional evolution and hormonal transformation is actually going to affect love relationships with people?
DR. JOHN GRAY: So now I speak a little biology. What happens in the body is that there’s an imbalance going on. It has two primary causes, maybe three significant reasons. Let me talk about the first two. One is I feel that in the ’60s, there was a spiritual revolution. I was a child of the ’60s. I grew long hair, and I wanted to get high, learned to meditate, I’d demonstrate for peace, I didn’t want to go to Vietnam.
The women during the ’60s were all out there going free sex, and let’s change the world, let’s run the companies, we’re all going to become CEOs and break the glass ceiling, and they were thrilled. It was like we were roused. Women were inspired to become free, to be their masculine side, and men were so excited to be free, go on to their female side and enjoy life more. Love, peace, happiness, learn to meditate. That was the whole thing.
So it’s just my experience. One day I was meditating, and it wasn’t like an internal talking to me, that happens all the time, but literally, a voice spoke out loud to me. It just seemed so loud and so unusual. It said, “Hi John.” That was it. Whatever we’re going to call that voice if it was the perfect balance of powerful masculinity or something else. Something you could trust and depend on and just were inspired to be next to and so much feminine love and caring. It was so loving and beautiful. How both those things could co-exist, and then I realized, wow, as we become more spiritual, we become one with a masculine and feminine spirit.
So I feel an essential shift has happened. You know, often people in a kind of new-age community, whatever, talk about ascension. I think we ascended then and ascended to a part of our brain that can self-reflect and embrace both our male and female sides. Think of a pendulum going from one direction to another. You’ve been way over on the female side. As you’re moving to the male side, that Centerpoint is the magic place where we connect with our divine self, both masculine and feminine. So that’s a fascinating metaphor for looking at it. On a spiritual level, we’ve ascended. We have permission, freedom within ourselves if we use that freedom. Not everybody uses that. You can swing from one side, and you can go to the other. Another thing happened simultaneously: Monsanto came along and created these potent, powerful pesticides that are basically called Xenoestrogens. They come into your body, these pesticides in our food. They started in the ’90s.
Continue to Page 2 of the Interview with Dr. John Gray
