6 Secrets to Cultivating Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner
Emotional intimacy is not only essential to a healthy bond, but it also builds long-term harmony and stability between two partners.
Understanding Emotional Intimacy
The secret to a deep, purpose-driven life is not to perceive but to feel. We can see, touch, smell, taste, and hear the world around us, but not until we feel it do we truly sense the living spark. When we watch a movie, it’s not the scenes we glimpse but the emotions they evoke that make us laugh or cry. We must feel all that we do—even become intimate with it—to grasp its full meaning. This holds especially true in relationships; we might be physically attracted to someone, but only when we engage our emotions do we really connect with that person.
I met my husband a mere days after I landed in America. Whether it was fate, coincidence, or pure luck, I married him in three weeks, and we remained together until he passed away many years later. I believe what kept us together was sharing this extraordinary ability to feel each other at all times: he could detect exactly what was bothering me. Likewise, I knew just what to bring him before he could even ask. We maintained our relationship not by seeing each other day to day or going about the routines of life, but by being emotionally intimate.
The magic of intimacy is that it can be of the soul. Far surpassing physical intimacy, emotional intimacy is the glue of any loving bond. To be emotionally intimate means to be empathetically in tune with your partner, feeling his fears, desires, wishes, and needs as if they were your own. Implement these six keys to deepen the emotional intimacy of your relationship:
1. See it together. Visualization exercises can empower your relationship. You’ve probably already tried this with your partner without even realizing it: imagining what your future together will look like. Take it one step further. Hold your loved one’s hand and close your eyes as you take turns, saying your wishes out loud. Speak in the present tense, as if your dreams were coming true right now. You can say things like, “I see us walking into our new home. It’s a big, brick house with a garden in front,” or whatever it is you both want to achieve. Make this a nightly or weekly habit. Visualizations are profoundly intimate rituals that inspire you to strive towards mutual goals.
2. Reinforce your love. When you speak loving words to your partner, speak them with conviction. This means saying a full and excited “I love you” instead of a hurried “love ya.” Reinforcing your love entails actions as well, like making tiny sacrifices that mean the world to your significant other: being on time, remembering to call, etc. Emphasize his importance in your life. Hold your lover close, and experience every element of his being: smell his hair, feel his back, listen to his heartbeat. Close your eyes and tell him what he means to you. Compliment and uplift him. Don’t think too much; speak from the seat of your soul. Giving and receiving love without restraint is the highest intimate act.
3. Pay attention to body language. The emotions we experience manifest in physical gestures. Pay attention if your partner heaves a big sigh when he crosses his legs, where he places his hands, and so on. Most movements are subconscious, but each one is purposeful. When you note small, inadvertent movements you can discern his level of comfort as well as what situations cause him unease. In time, you can come to know what your partner is thinking just by watching the way he holds himself.
4. Make eye contact. You might want to avoid looking at your significant other in the eye when you’re upset with him. Even in such moments, keep in mind that nothing is as effective at conveying (or betraying) your sentiments as eye contact. Words may reach the brain, but a glance can reach down to the soul. Eye contact can be intensely intimate. Get into the habit of looking your partner in the eye when addressing him to lock in the potency of your words and intentions.
5. Engage in quality conversation. The quality surpasses quantity when it comes to conversation. Maintain mindful dialogues in which you explore important topics. Ask questions to help your partner release his thoughts, but don’t make the conversation seem like an interview. Ask about one relevant matter, then let him talk as much (or as little) as he wants. Listen to his tone, choice of words, and hesitation in saying certain things. Your partner may be trying to tell you how something makes him feel, but may have trouble conveying it. Consider the overall quality of your conversations: Are you speaking enough and if so, what is the basis of your talks? Are you reaching helpful conclusions together or harmful conclusions against each other? The right kind of speech encourages and heals. When all else fails, simply ask, “How do you feel?”
6. Allow emotions to flow. Some people are afraid to open up and feel because they believe it’ll somehow make them weak or more susceptible to being hurt. Heavy emotions like anger, bitterness, and resentment should be released in healthy ways so as not to disrupt the dynamic of your relationship. Pleasant emotions, on the other hand, must be experienced in their totality to heighten intimacy. Excitement, passion, pleasure, and joy—these feelings should be captured in their greatest spectrum. Share positive sentiments that bring you closer together. Dismiss your fears of becoming vulnerable and allow your feelings to flow.
Emotional intimacy is not only essential to a healthy bond, but it also builds long-term harmony and stability between two partners. Practice my six secrets to emotional intimacy and reach the passionate peak of your relationship.
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You will also enjoy Carmen Harra – The Karma Queen and Carmen Harra and Alexandra Harra: Love and the Seven Archetypes
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About the Author
Dr. Carmen Harra is a household name at OMTimes, and her influence extends far beyond as she clinched the prestigious Ommie Award for 2022’s Most Influential People. This accolade is just one testament to her remarkable career as an accomplished author, writer, radio show host, and TV personality on OMTimes.
Carmen Harra’s journey to becoming a world-renowned intuitive psychologist and relationship expert is as fascinating as it is inspiring. Her early fame as a singing sensation in Europe set the stage for a life filled with unexpected twists and turns. She originally traveled to America for a singing engagement, but destiny had other plans for her. In the United States, she encountered the love of her life, leading her to decide to stay.
In this new chapter of her life, Carmen boldly reinvented her career trajectory. She embarked on a path of profound self-discovery, eventually earning a Ph.D. in Psychology. Her transformation was nothing short of remarkable, and she quickly emerged as a leading expert in her field.
One of Carmen’s pivotal moments came in 1998 when she began writing her first book, “Everyday Karma.” She knew this book would become an international sensation, transcending borders and languages with translations in over 20 countries. Carmen’s unique insights into human nature and spirituality struck a chord with readers worldwide.
For the past 28 years, Carmen has dedicated herself to helping over 40,000 individuals rediscover inner peace, reclaim their personal power, and rekindle the flames of joy in their lives. Her clients represent a diverse spectrum of society, ranging from ordinary individuals next door to Hollywood celebrities and prominent politicians. Carmen’s approach to transformation is nothing short of extraordinary.
What sets Carmen apart is her ability to blend the conventional with the mystical seamlessly. She combines tried-and-tested cognitive therapy techniques with ancient arts like numerology, mediumship, and an astonishing intuition. This fusion of approaches empowers her clients to achieve profound and lasting positive changes in their lives.
Dr. Carmen Harra’s impact on the world is immeasurable, as she inspires, guides, and uplifts those who seek her wisdom. Her journey from a European singing sensation to a world-renowned psychologist, bestselling author, and influential media personality is a testament to the power of reinvention, self-discovery, and the pursuit of one’s true calling. Carmen’s life and work are a beacon of hope and transformation for countless individuals worldwide.
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