Carmen Harra and Alexandra Harra: Love and the Seven Archetypes

Through the Seven Archetypes, offers a unique approach to finding and keeping love based on relationship archetypes is a new book by Dr. Carmen Harra and her daughter Alexandra Harra.

Carmen Harra and Alexandra Harra Tell you what it means to be Committed!

Carmen Harra is an internationally acclaimed intuitive psychologist, best-selling author, radio show host, relationship expert, and TV personality. In her teens, Carmen became a singing sensation in Europe. She released twelve albums that became instant hits. Carmen first visited America for a singing engagement but decided to stay for good after meeting the love of her life. Here, she reinvented her career and became a psychologist, earning a Ph.D. in Psychology. Carmen had been intuitive since a near-death experience as a child, so she decided to combine her ability to see with her knowledge of cognitive therapy–something that had never been done before. In 1998, Carmen began writing her first book, Everyday Karma, which became an international best-seller and was translated into over 20 languages.

Alexandra Harra is a certified life and relationship coach who is following in her mother’s impressive footsteps. Alexandra has been immersed in Dr. Harra’s business since her childhood, where she has heard the stories of thousands of people and learned every problem-solving technique through the first-hand experience. Alexandra manages Dr. Harra’s business and offers her own expert guidance to clients. Her passion is helping young women discover their worth and She writes professionally for the Huffington Post, RelationshipHeadquarters.com, and other publications. Alexandra is the co-author of The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships, she and Dr. Harra’s last book reveals the secrets of transforming your relationships by transforming your karma. But Their new book, Committed: Finding Love and Loyalty.

Through the Seven Archetypes, offers a unique approach to finding and keeping love based on relationship archetypes.

Finding Love and Loyalty Through the Seven Archetypes

OMTimes: How important is Commitment for the success of a relationship? Tell us a bit of your book, the roles of the archetypes, and the inspiration behind its creation.

Carmen Harra: Commitment is inseparable from a successful relationship; you cannot have one without the other. Often, we enter a relationship thinking, “Well, commitment will come later.” Still, if dedication isn’t there from both partners from the beginning, the relationship runs the risk of collapsing fairly quickly. Commitment is the glue that binds two people together through thick and thin.

I, Carmen Harra, have been a psychologist and relationship counselor for over 25 years. My daughter Alexandra started working with me about ten years ago, right after she graduated from Hofstra University with degrees in Creative Writing and Classics. She then became certified in relationship coaching. As we worked together over time, we both started to notice something interesting: we were meeting, counseling, and hearing about the same types of people over and over again.

As soon as a client started describing a potential partner, we could almost finish her sentence because we already anticipated the behavior he applied in the relationship. We recognized his mentality and the frustration it was bringing her. We began taking notes on the many stories we were being told and pinpointing the common threads among them.

Next, we separated the different personality types we had learned about and eventually established seven distinct archetypes. Some match better with others, but they each have specific strengths and weaknesses and varying commitment capacities.

What’s fascinating about archetypes is that they’re both innate and learned: a person’s archetype is partly inherited through his genes and somewhat shaped by his unique life experiences.

Nevertheless, it’s the inner design that steers his thoughts and justifies his actions. So you can imagine how important it is to become conscious of the archetype driving our behaviors. In this way, we can shed the limitations of our particular archetype and become the best versions of ourselves. And if both partners are willing to do this, they can share a wonderful and complementary relationship.

OMTimes: How may your book “Committed” help someone achieve a self-stability and self-reliance point and make the right relationship choices?

Carmen Harra: Our book first guides readers through the work they’ll have to perform on the inside, themselves, and themselves. Entering a relationship with a solid sense of self and a healed heart will help you understand what you want and don’t want in a relationship. This will aid you in avoiding mistakes you made in the past, mend traumas you suffered in former relationships, and refuse anything less than what you deserve.

Most importantly, our book can grant you the wisdom to recognize that joy is your birthright whether you are or aren’t in a relationship right now and just feel happy in the present.

OMTimes: Is there a thing such as a pattern for a normal relationship? If there is one, what would that be?

Carmen Harra: Every relationship is different, but some markers separate normal from toxic bonds. Healthy relationship patterns include (a lot of) Commitment from both partners and a consistent sense of emotional intimacy. Unhealthy relationship patterns often involve manipulation, gaslighting, anxiety, and much confusion (usually felt by one partner more than the other).

Whether a relationship is normal or abnormal can be determined by the emotions felt most often: if you feel positive feelings towards your relationship and your partner, you are in a healthy relationship. If emotions like anger, resentment, or bitterness surface, it’s time to reevaluate matters for the sake of your wellbeing.

OMTimes: In the book, you say that the concept of Commitment a person has may vary. Can you explain why that is?

Carmen Harra: From a young age, we are conditioned toward the notion of Commitment. We first learn what this concept is from our parents and family members; this is the starting point of our journey in love.

No two people hold identical ideas about Commitment because no two people grew up in the same circumstances. Some people grew up in homes in which both parents were perfectly content together; others grew up in homes where there was a lot of shouting and arguing, and still, others grew up in the absence of one or both parents. What we experienced as children affects us more than we can imagine, well into our adult years and after we’ve moved out of the house. And we will spend the rest of our lives either portraying or rejecting the Commitment we first witnessed as home: if one parent walked out on the family, we might repeat that behavior or vehemently oppose it.

If one parent cheated, we might cheat or attract cheaters without meaning to. Everything reverts to our childhood, which is why we should begin to examine our commitment beliefs there and assess whether they’ve helped or hindered our relationships thus far.

OMTimes: You have had so many different and eclectic experiences in your professional life. You have changed many lives with your gifts, build countless bridges across other subjects such as Psychology and Spirituality. Do you consider yourself a fearless person? And how did your Spiritual journey start?

Carmen Harra: I consider myself a decently fearless person who, like any other individual, is still working to overcome specific fears. My spiritual journey started when I was five years old. We lived in the countryside in a rural part of Romania, and my parents took me on a picnic to a nearby river. I started playing by the water and accidentally slipped in. I felt my body drowning but my spirit ascending. I remember traveling through a blinding light and emerging into a picturesque world—one that I can only assume was the other side. I was there for a few moments before my spirit was dragged back into my body, and I awoke, coughing, to my father resuscitating me.

Yuval Ron: Sound is the Future Medicine

Ever since then, I have had a heightened feeling of what was to come and what would happen.

When I came to America, I decided to study psychology because the human mind fascinates me; the truth is that we are all capable of incredible intuition, of transcending linear time and going beyond physical boundaries, but many of us don’t try to hone these abilities. I have always enjoyed combining the normal with the paranormal in my practice, coupling psychology with parapsychology to give my clients the most comprehensive, informative outlook possible of their potential and destiny.

OMTimes: What is your formula for a Human Being to develop an authentic and committed relationship? What would you say is the essential element for that to happen?

Carmen Harra: We think there are three elements to being in an authentic, committed relationship. Firstly, you have to be with a person who holds the same commitment values as you do. If you’re solid in your commitment beliefs, you can’t be with someone who can only commit halfway or think it’s okay to commit to multiple partners simultaneously. Secondly, you have to understand your partner. This goes far beyond what movies he likes or what cologne he wears.

Go to Page 2 of the Interview with Carmen Harra and Alexandra Harra