When we think about what it means to be brave, we often think about taking physical risks, but we can also consider emotional bravery.
Emotional Bravery is Stronger than Physical Courage
Being brave this way means being open and vulnerable. It means allowing people to really see you, thereby risking rejection, misunderstanding, and disapproval.
Good Vibes Be Positive Concept
Emotional bravery is harder than physical courage.
For many people, it’s much easier to be physically brave than to be emotionally courageous. They’d rather risk having a limb broken than having their heart broken.
This is probably due to the abundance of support for people who have been physically injured and the dearth of emotional support for people who are experiencing emotional pain.
It takes more courage to be vulnerable.
There’s also a tremendous stigma associated with emotional suffering. A grown man can whine and moan about having a head cold, and nobody scoffs, but if he even mentions his emotional struggles, he’s more often than not looked at with scorn.
For that reason, it requires a double dose of emotional courage to be vulnerable. We need to brave public opinion at the same time as we’re taking our emotional risks.
The upside of being emotionally brave
So, what is the upside of emotional bravery? For one thing, it enables us to have closer, more meaningful relationships. We have more life satisfaction. We get to be our authentic selves, which decreases our stress and increases our happiness. We’re more able to find our true community so we can experience a greater sense of belonging.
As scary as it can be to practice it, emotional courage offers a potentially huge payoff. It can lead to greatly improved mental health and physical well-being. Decreased stress and increased happiness directly impact our overall quality of life.
So, I invite everyone to think about how to be braver emotionally. I invite everyone to try doing one thing that’s a bit scary or risky on a feeling level.
Vulnerability: Emotional Bravery and the path to genuine connection
And you should know that if you’re scared of being misunderstood, judged, or rejected, remember that being more vulnerable is a great test of the people around you. If you show them your real thoughts and feelings and they don’t get you, or they reject you, it’s important information about them.
As long as you understand that the other person’s reaction to you is about them, not you, it’s less painful if they reject you. And as long as you understand that if they judge you or criticize you, it’s their problem, not yours, you can use these experiences as powerful opportunities for learning.
Being more open emotionally can help you see who your real friends are and who are merely frenemies. It can help you to walk away from anyone who isn’t able to accept you for exactly who you are.
Emotional bravery: the courage to be our authentic selves
It takes a lot less effort just to be ourselves. It’s a lot more fun to be genuine. It’s a drag, constantly trying to be the way we think other people want us to be. Being emotionally brave makes us waste less time and energy on people-pleasing.
And people-pleasing is guaranteed never to make us happy. When we try to be what others want, they might enjoy our pleasing persona but don’t get to see who we are. We aren’t being loved for our true selves. We expend all that effort, but we’re left exhausted, resentful, and devoid of genuine affection.
The only way to be loved for our authentic selves is to show people who we are. Yes, some of them might not like or want us, but we will know for certain that the love we’re receiving from those who stick around is real. And that is very gratifying.
Being emotionally brave means never worrying whether the people in our lives care about us. And that is very reassuring.
Emotional courage isn’t easy, but clearly, it’s worth it. Why not give it a try?
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About the Author
Marcia Sirota MD FRCP(C) is a board-certified psychiatrist who does not ascribe to any one theoretical school. Rather, she has integrated her education and life experiences into a unique approach to the practice of psychotherapy. She considers herself a realist with a healthy measure of optimism. Sign up here for her free monthly wellness newsletter. Listen here to her latest podcast. mariasirotamd.com
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