Unconditional Love
by Ann Christine Johnson
The most rational and altruistic thing we can do in life is to love – love ourselves and love others. It’s the single most important thing we can do. ‘Real’ love is unconditional. It doesn’t need others to be the way we think they ‘should’ be. It doesn’t seek to fill up our own emptiness. ‘Real’ love is selfless. It gives to others without expecting anything in return and regardless of what is received in return. By giving ‘real’ love to self and others this kind of love will return to us many times over.
Many people have developed a contempt and lack of love for others. Mercy and charity is lacking in many parts of our world. Some people are committing suicide or turning to drugs or alcohol for solace, unable to bear the pain and suffering in their lives anymore. Wars, and acts of cruelty and violence, pervade many parts of the world. Many people are living in abject poverty; or in abusive situations. Some people are calling for the introduction of capital punishment instead of looking at ways to prevent crime or rehabilitate those convicted of crime. There is a lack of love for others in many places in our world.
People who live on the streets; people with a learning disability; people suffering from mental illness; social misfits; chronic alcoholics are often shunned by those around them. The challenge and opportunity here is for you to learn to love all who lives in this world of ours; to learn to come from a place of unconditional love and tolerance when dealing with others. Because it is love that will generate the light that will dissolve the fear and darkness in our world.
Living in close proximity to others can be an immense source of companionship, fun and comfort. It can also be an immense source of stress, frustration and pain. Being able to love and to accept unconditionally the people closest to us is indeed a challenge; however when you can learn to do this you will create peace in your world. Everyone who is in your life is there for a reason. Despite what you may think, everyone is doing their best. Although we might not like the way some of the people around us are treating us now; although we might need to set clear boundaries from time to time in the way we allow others to treat us; the challenge here is to be able to look beyond the behaviour being exhibited by those around us – to look beyond the anger and see sadness; look behind the coldness and see fear; and love them unconditionally regardless of how they behave.
Being able to deal with others in a loving way requires tender heart. It requires the ability to allow things to flow instead of putting expectations on everything. It requires us to recognize the dignity of everyone in this world of ours, regardless of the parts that we dislike. Learning to love others is indeed a challenge. In our humanness often we judge or criticise others instead of looking for the best in them. And yet a little genuine praise, support and encouragement, goes such a long way. It helps others to gain a positive sense of self. It is vitally important to learn to love and accept the people in our lives; however it takes a lifetime for most of us to master. Often we try to control, fix and change others, instead of focusing on the things that we like and value about them. Learning to observe all that’s happening around us with unconditional love is the greatest challenge of all.
In order to make progress in your life you need to go on a journey of learning to love yourself and others unconditionally. While this kind of journey can be painful and confronting, it will be of great benefit to you and those around you if you can do this. The changes that will occur within you as a result of taking this journey will have a ‘ripple effect’ that will benefit all in your world. When you can see others’ behaviour simply as a reflection of where they are in consciousness; simply as a reflection of how they view themselves; you will no longer need to judge and criticise others. You will be able to observe people, their antics and behaviour through the eyes of unconditional love.
The people who irritate or affect you the most; the ones you find most challenging; are often your best teachers, reflecting back to you inner aspects of self; offering you the opportunity to become more introspective and aware. Next time you find yourself faced with the prospect of dealing with a difficult person ask yourself what you can learn from this event and be grateful for that. Decide to treat all members of your family with love, dignity and respect. Learn to step back when you’re with family, so you can observe the entrenched relationship patterns with detachment and love.
A word of caution: Do not allow others to abuse or disrespect you under the guise of unconditional love. Set boundaries when you feel you need to by speaking up for self; making a direct request; moving out of the way; or keeping silent. Resolve to let the past go and to make a fresh start. By continually connecting with God you will more easily to be able to love everyone unconditionally.
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About the Author
Ann C. Johnson, Psychologist and Author, has worked in the helping professions for the past 35 years. She has published 3 books on personal and spiritual development. Inspired by posts she reads on Facebook and events happening in her own life Ann continues to write articles on a regular basis.
Ann can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/annjohnson1948
