Creating a Positive Long Distance Relationship
by Heidi E Cruz
Relationships can be hard, but long-distance relationships bring a new meaning to the idea of what is hard in the relationship. The emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical needs of the relationship must be fulfilled in alternative ways. Long distance relationships can be successful when they cultivate the art of communication and trust between the partners. Begin with prioritizing your goals with your partner and speaking with them. Making it known to others how you feel about them can help intensify your relationship.
What are some tips to handle a relationship based on long distance?
So, what if you start to notice a breakdown in your relationship or you feel something lacking? There are things you can do, even from a distance, to reassure your partner. Let them know you are in the relationship for the long haul.
Keep your Skype or phone call dates. Cancelling on your partner might imply to them, they are an afterthought or just an alternative if nothing better is going on. Keep your scheduled Skype/phone calls as you would a date. After all, you are dating your partner right? Make sure you inform your friends or family of your plans to spend the evening talking to your partner and that you are unavailable at that time. If you need to cancel for an emergency, let your partner know so they don’t feel stood up.
Communicate about anything and everything. Be honest about how you are feeling, share what you are passionate about and what activities you are currently involved in. Talk to your partner with video chat, instant messenger, email. Write an old fashioned letter to your lover as a surprise or a romantic gesture. Send your partner little gifts in the mail you think they would enjoy. It is the little things that let them know you are thinking of them during your every day when you are apart.
Long Distance and the Importance of Regular Visits
Visit each other and never cancel them unless it is an emergency. Refusing to commit to an agreed visit or withdrawing on your partner for alternative vacation can cause irrevocable damage. By staying committed to your visits, you will demonstrate to your partner your desire to be with them on an everyday basis in the future. If you no longer feel the relationship is working out or have some fear about visiting, discuss this issue with your partner instead of cancelling on them and lying about the reason. Resolving these matters can help you reevaluate and strengthen your relationship.
Split the costs of visits and discuss finances with your partner. If you live on opposite ends of your country or even the world, funds need to be taken up about visits and preparation for your future. Is your fiancé from a country where they don’t make as much money as you? What are they trying to help pay for regarding visits? What do you each expect from the relationship regarding finances in the future? Discussing the financial aspect of your relationship helps to lay a foundation for future expectations, agreements, and commitments that you seek in your partner.
What Else is Important? Discuss It!
Another tip is to discuss where your relationship is headed and your common goals. This helps each partner to have a sense of what they should be working towards making your relationship a success. This is especially important in intercultural long distance relationships. What are you both seeking in life? What are your expectations? The natural conclusion should be that at some point you will begin to live together and even marry. Who is willing to relocate? Are you both willing to relocate to a mutually agreeable location? Finding a common ground between cultural differences is a key to success in intercultural relationships as it will prevent many arguments in the future.
Relationships are emotional, spiritual, physical and financial investments. Maybe long distance relationships in general, may take a higher toll on these aspects than for someone you see every day. Be honest with your partner and let them know how much you care. Let them know if something is bothering you. If your partner responds positively with equal care and love, you are cultivating positive attributes for your long-distance and eventual close-distance love.
About the Author
Heidi Cruz is a writer and teacher by trade. She earned her MFA and BA in writing from Southern New Hampshire University. She is passionate about horses, cultural exchange, reading and Asian cultures. Her favorite subject is learning about horses in different cultures and in history. https://heidiecruz.com/
