Spiritual Egotism – The Dark Side of New Age Philosophy

Do you know someone who proclaims how “spiritual” they are?  They may be a case of spiritual egotism.

Spiritual Egotism

When I was nineteen years old, I went traveling with a friend on the West Coast of the United States. We met a lot of very interesting people along the way, and one of them stands out. He was a 20-something, self-proclaimed “spiritual seeker.” Let’s call him “Cool Breeze.”

He was the first person I’d ever met who meditated daily and who saw himself as being on a spiritual path. I’d read some Books about Zen Buddhism and Eastern mysticism, and was interested to discover what it might be like to put some of these principles into practice.

Over the communal dinners at the New Mexico youth hostel where we were staying, he explained his thoughts about the road he was taking toward enlightenment. He seemed pretty serious about it, and over the few days that we spent in town, I got to know Cool Breeze as much as one can in such a short time.

Initially, his demeanor was calming and soothing. He seemed to float above everything, detached from the messiness and complications of everyday life. His spiritual practice seemed to enable him to avoid the mundane dramas that the rest of us couldn’t help becoming involved in. Still, as the days went by, my initial impression of him began to change.

There was a fussiness about him; an insistence on having things a certain way. Even though his explanation for being so particular was that this was part of his spiritual practice, it made him appear rigid and controlling rather than simply committed to his path.

He began to come off as a bit grandiose, and I got the impression that he felt superior to the other young people around him. It was like he saw himself as better than the rest of us because he knew an important life secret, which he’d discovered through his practice of Eastern Mysticism.  Spiritual egotism.

He also revealed himself to be somewhat selfish and insensitive to others’ feelings. It was as though his spirituality granted him special dispensation to disregard the petty needs and feelings of us non-spiritual types. He seemed to feel that he could justify this by explaining how he was compelled to prioritize his spiritual practice over everything else. When others became annoyed that he wasn’t helping out with the chores, as we were all expected to, this was his rationale.

I was a fairly naïve teenager with not a lot of life experience, but it struck me that Cool Breeze’s philosophy didn’t totally make sense. My idea of spirituality at the time – simplistic as it might have been- was that this way of living would make a person kinder and more thoughtful toward others; not the other way around. I also figured that being spiritual ought to make someone more easy-going, rather than more uptight.

The most disappointing thing about Cool Breeze was how self-involved he was. Again, in my teen-age take on spirituality, I assumed that someone who meditated and sought enlightenment should have less ego and be more compassionate toward others. If Eastern philosophy promoted the idea that “we are all one,” then why should a spiritual person be superior to any other person?  Pure spiritual egotism.

Also, I understood that spirituality was a way of detaching from some of the materialism of modern life, but it made no sense to be as disengaged as Cool Breeze was, seeing as how he was choosing to be around other people and that his behavior and spiritual egotism was having a negative effect on those around him.

I’ve always been a bit of a skeptic. I tend to look at experts, teachers, and bosses; really anyone in a position of power or authority and ask myself if what they’re saying makes sense and whether or not their behavior is consistent with their message. Over the years this urge to question things has served me well, as long as I chose not to ignore it.

While attending a university just north of New York City, I made friends with three girls in the year ahead of me. They all took yoga and meditation classes in Manhattan at a center run by a man known as “Gurudev.” It struck me as odd that they had such strong reactions when he went away for the many speaking engagements which funded the center.

My friends were behaving more like lovelorn women than mere followers of a guru and his spiritual practice. It didn’t take long for me to discover the reason for my friends’ intense reactions to Gurudev, As it turns out, he had been sleeping with the three of them, as well as with many of the other girls who attended classes at the center.

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Not that I’m batting 1000 when it comes to judging character: on occasion, I’ve talked myself out of what I sensed and came away a bit worse for wear, but most of the time I listen to the wise little voice within, and it didn’t let me down when it came to Gurudev and his center.

Whenever my friends invited me to a lecture or a party over there, my impression of Gurudev was of a creepy, middle-aged man who was having just a little too good a time with these young kids. He almost seemed to be gloating over his privileged position as a father figure to his group of fresh-faced devotees.

When the secret came out, my friends were devastated by the betrayal. It turned out that Gurudev had been seducing each girl by telling her that he and she were meant to have a special relationship and that their being together was essential for the “good karma” of the group.

Gurudev kept these affairs secret by insisting to each girl that telling anyone about their relationship would cause “bad karma” for the group, because of potential hurt or jealous feelings in the other members, who wouldn’t understand the “specialness” of what the two of them had together.

Unfortunately, Gurudev was just too good at getting my friends to fall in love with him, and his frequent absences became so intolerable to them that their deep feelings of love, and the reasons for these feelings, eventually all came pouring out one evening when the three of them, and a few other female devotees were all hanging out together in his absence.

The center was closed not long afterwards and Gurudev disappeared. It turns out that he had gotten into the same sort of trouble in his previous role as the leader of an ashram in India, and had had to flee to the United States to escape prosecution. No-one knew where he took himself, and his spiritual egotism off to, this time. My friends, meanwhile, got on with their lives, graduating university and forevermore eschewing gurus of any kind.

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