Falling in Love with Pain
By Cynthia Belmer
The journey of awakening often starts when we are going through some discomfort and pain in life. Pain shakes our ego, our relationships and our emotions. Pain breaks our heart open and get us to experience intense feelings that were never felt before and are very hard to understand. We wonder about who is the person behind these emotions which brings up a lot of confusion and sometimes even an escape so that we don’t face these scary feelings.
We often work so hard to get rid of the pain we have. We might ignore it, look for distractions and joy outside of ourselves hoping that it would help the storm pass faster and easier. Little do we know that, the more we push it away, the more it comes back to us stronger.
Every single human being on earth suffers. We are who we are and we are feeling what we need to feel for our awakening. Think about when you touched a hot pot for the first time. You were probably curious about this object in front you. The moment you touched it, you experienced something unexpected that was painful and scary. You developed fear of being hurt from hot pots. However, if you were to touch the hot pot again, you would know how it feels, how it hurts, you will still experience pain but your reaction to it is different. The same thing is true for pain, the more you let yourself face it and feel it, the more you go beyond it and experience joy and softness in your heart.
Here are some tips to make friends with yourself when you are facing pain:
- Be curious. Where is this pain coming from? why is it showing up now? be 100% honest with yourself at all times, even when the truth is unpleasant.
- Embrace what you feel. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, whether it was heartbreak, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness and so on.
- Comfort yourself. Whether it is through talking to your partner, friend, coach or even a random stranger, open your heart and express your feelings.
- Notice any self-talk you have with yourself. Are you punishing or supporting your feelings?
- Forgive yourself. You are a human being with negative and positive emotions. It’s healthy to make mistakes – they only bring you a step closer to deep self-awareness and gained strengths.
- Pray, meditate and do yoga. Whatever spiritual ritual you practice, practice it more and allow the divine energy to heal you.
- Focus on the moment. listen, smell, sense and experience every moment of your pain. The more you do it, the more you become fearless.
Understanding the pain that is within us and all the softness that comes through when it breaks our heart open is a big step towards making friends with the self. The moment we shed our tears, is a moment of freedom towards experiencing compassion and love towards our human nature. So, what actions will you take today to embrace your emotions? Share at least one thing you will do today in the comments, then come back and share how it felt tomorrow.
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Cynthia Belmer is a professional Relationships and Career Coach, she specializes in helping women with unfulfilled lives, access their inner resources to build a long-term relationship that meets their needs, and find a career path that is aligned with their life purpose. Cynthia is currently completing her International ICF coaching certification through Erickson along with having an MFA, writer, registered yoga and meditation instructor.
If you have questions about relationships or career, you can contact Cynthia directly at: www.mariettalifecoach.com
