Is Love Enough?
by Gina Hardy
The purpose of my blog on love and relationships?
Well, my life as a spectator is constantly throwing me a vast array of love topics which propel me, often with great speed to my laptop. I love to write, offering up my perspective in a “me, you” discussion and then I like to offer advice as an “experiencer” first, then an educator, on what maybe happening. Its then up to you and your innate wisdom to take from it what feels right.
Would you do anything for love? And when you find love with another is it enough to have a long lasting and happy relationship?
I have experienced many people over the years, myself included, sniffing over another box of man sized tissues while whining “but I love him or her” when a relationship is clearly not going well. The pain in the body and soul is excruciating and yet we chain ourselves to love like Emily Pankhurst. Seems bizarre on some levels, but we all do it.
Lately, the mantra “love is not enough” keeps playing in my mind and rolling off my tongue to those who want to catch it. I see people in relationships where what they truly want, need or desire is not being wholesomely fulfilled, but they feel this indefinable thing called “love” and it keeps them staying where they are and putting up with less than ok.
Katie Hendricks, a renowned relationship expert, said on a recent podcast, we need to know what our 3 “must haves” and 3 “absolute no-no’s” in order to have the relationship that feels good. That was an eye opener for me because I can think of many past relationships where several no-no’s were present and yet I was convinced that loving the person was enough and that love would win over all in the end. Doh!
A “must have” for you could be someone who is into spiritual and self development and although I interject here, saying that I don’t necessarily think relationships work when two people are “tooled” up, having someone who has common interests and hobbies may make the relationship easier and better. That’s really it isn’t it. When love is tough more than it’s good, we must look at the elements of why. I know for me the above “must have” is present in my relationship and this common ground we share, deepens our love. A wonderful thing and because my beloved has worked on himself extensively our relationship is all the easier because of it. (I have too by the way…lol!).
Having different backgrounds and upbringings can irk at a relationship as well. My ex-husband and I had completely different upbringings. He grew up with 3 brothers and a mum who had a string of different men and husbands and Neil never felt that love was safe and long lasting. I loved him so very deeply but the differences tore us apart in the end. I believe that you get married for life, but he had experienced several marriages during his parenting and so felt that it was ok to jump in and out of marriages willy nilly. Another “must have” for you might be someone without children. If you are childless and you meet someone with children then the dynamics are completely different.
