5 Signs You’re Dating A Loser

Are you dating a loser? 

by Marni Battista

Let’s face it: some guys are just flat-out losers. But unfortunately for us women, not all of them live up to that stereotypical, ‘loser’ image of an unkempt, jobless bum playing video games on his mom’s couch. Many members of this MANimal species come across as charming and handsome—and sometimes even give the appearance of being successful. Luckily, we’re here to detail a few red flags to watch out for so you don’t wind up with one of these impostors and dating a loser!

Warning Signs of Dating a Loser

Dating A Loser 1. Your First Night Out Is Your Last

The seasoned deadbeat loser-type isn’t dumb. He knows he has to impress you at some point, so he’ll likely start off with a bang and take you out for a fancy dinner or extravagant evening of some sort your first time out together. But as soon as he senses he has you, he’ll lure you back to where he’s more comfortable: the couch. Using a facade of boyfriend-y nuances such as cooking you dinner (with groceries you brought over) or picking out a movie he knows you’ll like, the loser in question may successfully avoid having his true identity revealed for quite some time.

Dating A Loser 2. He Doesn’t Pay

This red flag can manifest itself in a couple ways. If he’s completely stopped taking the check, I hope you’ve long-since ditched him. But the sneakier deadbeats are often still supported by their parents (or maybe even a trust fund) and passing it off as their own. If you sense something’s up, be sure to put your sleuth hat on and sniff out the source of his funds. Not only does this speak a lot to the character of the loser, but this could lead to disagreements over finances later on.

Dating A Loser 3. He Doesn’t Call

Don’t be fooled by the loser here. The discerning deadbeat is probably contacting you plenty—maybe even too much, since he has so much free time on his hands! But if he’s contacting you via everything BUT directly calling you on the phone, beware! It takes two seconds to send a text message, but it takes thought and courage to make a phone call. What do you think that says about who he is?

Dating A Loser 4. Hobbies? What Hobbies?

What does he like to do in his spare time? Is he passionate about something? Do his weekend activities include anything other than hanging out with you and partying? If you’re struggling to answer any of those questions, think twice about this guy. Hobbies give people character, depth, and color. If finding a passion project isn’t a priority of his, it’s likely that sentiment stretches to other aspects of his life.

See Also

The Physiology of Consciousness

Dating A Loser 5. He Rarely Asks about You

Pay close attention to your conversations with this guy. Does he ask you many questions beyond the standard “How was your day?” Guys who aren’t relationship-ready usually wind up that way for a foundational reason: selfishness and self-entitlement. People with these characteristics built into their personality don’t tend to empathize with others; and in a dating situation, they’re likely intimidated by and even envious of the exciting things you have going on in your vibrant life. Don’t let the loser be a dead weight holding you back from living that life. Cut him loose!

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About the Author

Marni Battista has a Masters in Education and is a Certified Life Coach by the International Coaching Federation. Marni is also trained as a facilitator and mentor trainer, and is the on-camera Dating & Relationship Coach to Tristan Couveras, star of the new hit reality TV show, “Control TV,” produced by Seth Green and Ken Fuchs, producer of “The Bachelor.” Find out more about her workshops and classes at: http://datingwithdignity.com.